an imaginary blog

I have been posting to an imaginary blog for about a year. However, it has recently been brought to my attention that modern search engines are as yet unable to trawl our biological neural networks. Imaginary blog posts cannot be found in a Google search!

I see the shock writ large upon your face. I share your dismay and sense of betrayal. Those pithy, insightful, and at times life-altering revelations of mine? Lost forever.

Oh no. Now you look positively gloomy. Please cheer up. Let the sunshine in. Turn your frown upside down! It has been boldly suggested that I begin anew and create an un-imaginary blog. That would make it a real blog, right? If not, then I am off to a very shaky start. I'd hate to find myself in the same pickle another year from now. Isn't that a splendid idea? No, forget about the pickle, silly. I mean isn't the un-imaginary blog concept brilliant?

But before putting this whole imaginary blog debacle behind me, I want to point out that I was not the only person taken for a ride on this one. No way, baby. Just do a Google search on "imaginary blog" and check out the hits.

Oh hell, you aren’t going to do it, are you? Egad, people used to wake before sunrise, plow the fields all day, beat their clothes clean on river rocks, and go to bed hungry. Nowadays you ask someone to waggle their fingers a bit while they sit comfortably in a climate controlled environment, and they turn all "as if" on you. *sigh* Here’s a link for the "imaginary blog" search, Lazy Bones. At any rate… as of 6 April 2007, there were about 28,700 hits for the term "imaginary blog". It would seem that imaginary blogging is the snake oil of the 21st century! Certainly a 60 Minutes exposé is in the works. Just remember, you heard it here first.

So long as I am exposing tech-related hoaxes—what’s up with Google’s convention of rounding off results over 1,000 (as in "Results 1 - 10 of about 28,700 for 'imaginary blog'")? Come on, people! The word "about" has no business in a computer’s vocabulary! Am I right? Google knows precisely how many results there are—don’t let ‘em tell you otherwise. *sniffs the air cautiously* Uh-oh. Could that be the foul stench of the Patriot Act? Or is it that even our computers have become lazy and are essentially telling us "screw you, I’m tired of counting and you're too stupid to know the difference anyway"?

oh my… *fans self* I really must apologize for the wellspring of negativity. From whence did it come? And for that matter, when did I start using the word "whence"? Satan get thee behind me! Rest assured that this will not be the norm. Please join me again tomorrow (or thereabouts) as the bright, shiny, search-engine friendly, and wholly optimistic future of the un-imaginary blog begins!